Newsletter #3 originally published 8/25

Seasons of Widowhood: Second and Third Seasons

If you read last month’s newsletter, you see that I am presenting ideas from Emily Tanner, Founder, and creator of www.Bravewidow.com . In her ministry, Emily explains that she believes there are four seasons of widowhood. She’s using the acronym RISE to help explain her ideas. First season was what she calls “Rawness”, when emotions can include sadness, regret, sorrow, guilt, numbness, shame and being overwhelmed. This is a season to begin emotional healing, adjusting expectations for what you can realistically do. In this season we need to learn how to ask for and accept help and find ways to calm ourselves. We begin finding advisors who can help in decision making.

Emily comments that there are no set times for these seasons, but that she sees many women in this second season between 6-12 months after loss. Her second season she entitles “Isolation”. Isolation is something we experience in our immediate loss, but now as we begin to settle into our new normal, we wonder, “Is this it?” Can I really enjoy life again?” Our initial physical response, fight or flight, is decreasing and giving in to times of reflection. We begin to question our purpose as a single woman. Many women are moving into new homes, starting new jobs, or even going to work for the first time. According to Emily, we begin to “explore our new identity, plug into new communities, find new friendships”. We may revisit memories of our past single life, earlier goals. “What do I want more of in my life?” We are working on rebuilding our confidence, even think about small dreams. These are times in which we can ask God in prayer for his purpose in our singleness.

Season Three focuses on Self-Discovery. In this season we may feel awkward, uncomfortable, and shy in taking steps of faith. You don’t know the future, but you are taking steps with hope for a life that you can enjoy and love. There are glimmers of hope, curiosity, and cautious exploration. There may be anxiety or guilt. Emily’s advice? “Try new things, take low stakes risks, understand that you have the capacity for both sorrow and joy. Find community with others on the same journey and rebuild social circles.”

Fear of the unknown is something everyone experiences, and widowhood is a woman’s opportunity to overcome fear. Aloneness and loneliness are two different situations. Both are opportunities to draw near to God who is near to the brokenhearted. In Ps 34:18, God emphasizes that He is close to those who are crushed by pain and who turn to him. In Matt 11:28 Jesus says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” God gives us the choice to call upon Him.

Keeping faith in Christ,

Mary Bruce

Consider helping at this month’s Book Signings: Friday 8/29, 11a-1p @ The Coffee Shop, 203 Center Street, Senatobia. Saturday 8/30,11a-1p Magnolia Coffee Co.428 N. Main Street, Water Valley

BIBLE MEDITATION: Acts 16:25-26 NLT

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.”

You may wonder what this passage has to do with widowhood. Let’s look deeper.

It was about midnight….the end of a long day, possibly a long week. Paul and Silas, while preaching the gospel in Philippi, were being followed for many days by fortune-telling slave girl who made a lot of money for her masters. She was teasing and mocking. One day Paul delivered her from that mocking spirit, and she changed. Paul recognized that there are two realities: a spiritual kingdom of light and the earthly kingdom of darkness. This girl’s bosses recognized the change in her as well as their financial loss. They dragged Paul and Silas into court, accused them of stirring up trouble, and incited others who were watching to violence. The judge agreed with the accusation, had Paul and Silas beaten and put into jail. After a long day of preaching, deliverance, court appearance, beatings, and prison chains they were PRAYING.

Through the death of our husbands, each of us has been put into a situation we may or may not have expected. No one gets married thinking of or expecting widowhood. Often the aloneness of late nights in widowhood, after a long day, may be our most vulnerable times. Our aloneness can seem like a deep pit. This is our opportunity to pray.

“I called on your name Lord, from deep within the pit. You heard me when I cried, “Listen to my pleading! Hear my cry for help!” Yes, you came when I called; you told me, “Do not fear.” Lam 3:55-57NLT

They were SINGING HYMNS TO GOD. They were ministering to God. They were not singing testimony songs, or songs of deliverance, or songs for others. They were singing to God. Have you ever realized that by singing to God, you are ministering to him? Others may be listening, but when we sing to God, we are fulfilling his purpose for us. He has created us to worship him. Worship breaks open prison doors (in our minds) and chains (emotional and mental) are loosed.

I encourage you to find songs of worship, not just contemporary feel-good music, but songs that speak TO God. Your deliverance may not be as physically dramatic as Paul and Silas’ but I believe God will meet you in your time of need.

Father God, hear our cries in the night. Your word says ”Hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” As we hallow (honor, worship) your name, let your kingdom come into and through our lives here on earth. Amen.

COOKING CORNER: TASTY TACO SOUP1Submitted by Linda Shoaf.

With fall nipping at our heels, it’s time to turn thoughts toward preparing and freezing tasty, hardy soups for cooler weather. One of our favorite choices is Tasty Taco Soup. I don’t know the original source, but I acquired the recipe second hand from a member of the church we attended more than 30 years ago. This fellowship prepares numerous quantities and distributes to those in need in their community. The recipe yields enough for you to share with others and have ample to package and freeze for individual meals. As you enjoy, think about sharing with someone else.

I keep one-pound packages of cooked ground beef in the freezer so that when I have recipes like this, all I need do is to defrost and dump it into a large pot with all these canned goodies. Not only is this recipe quick, easy, and tasty, but it is nutritious as well.

2 pounds lean ground beef, cooked

1 (14 ounce) can beef broth

1 (10½ ounce) can tomato soup

1 (15.5 ounce) can pinto beans

1 (15 ounce) can ranch beans

1 (15.25 ounce) can whole kernel corn

1 (14.75 ounce) can cream corn

1 (10.5 ounce) can Rotel, original

1 (14.5 ounce) fire-roasted diced tomatoes

2 tablespoons taco seasoning

2 tablespoons dry ranch seasoning

2 tablespoons chili powder

Directions:

Place cooked beef, broth, and tomato soup into a large heavy-duty saucepan. Heat it to a simmer and add the 6 cans of vegetables (pinto beans, ranch beans, whole kernel and cream corn, Rotel and fire-roasted tomatoes). Mix seasonings (taco, ranch, chili powder) in a small bowl and add to heated vegetables. Bring mixture to a boil and immediately turn heat to a low simmer. Let simmer for 20 to 30 minutes to blend flavors. It can be kept on heat longer if lowered to a temperature just above warm.

Serve with toppings of shredded Mexican cheese blend, chopped green onions, and/or sour cream with tortilla chips on the side. Add a salad greens with sliced tomatoes and avocado.

1adapted from Grandmother’s Legacy: Folklore, Food Facts, and Favorite Recipes by Dr, Linda Shoaf available on Amazon

SERVICE OPPORTUNITIES: Serving others helps take our focus off ourselves. It also helps structure our time.

1. You can help other widows at this month’s Book Signings:

Friday 8/29, 11a-1p @ The Coffee Shop, 203 Center Street, Senatobia

Saturday 8/30,11a-1p Magnolia Coffee Co.428 N.Main Street, Water Valley

2. Crisis Pregnancy Centers, 822 Scott Street, Senatobia: collecting and sorting through children’s clothing, Tuesday and Thursday mornings

3. Hope Missions of Senatobia, 5179 Highway North, Side B, Senatobia MS 38668. Opportunities to connect with and pray for Hope Missions and their proposed safe home for women. Hopemissionsofsenatobia@gmail.com

4. Forrest Spence Fund, Memphis which assists with the non-medical needs of critically and chronically ill children and their families throughout the Mid-South will be having a BOOK RELEASE: Forrest of Hope on September 11, 2025, from 11:30am-1pm or 5-6:30 at their office 2112 Court Ave, Memphis. Parking in lot across the street. https://www.forrestspencefund.org

INTERNATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES:

Missionlink ministry provides an “Adopt A Widow” ministry.

Meet Kagoya Juliet from Itukulu, Uganda. You can find more information at https://www.missionlink.org/widows Mission Link International, P.O. Box115, Bedford, VA. 24523

AUTOMOTIVE TIP: Checking fluids: why is it important for you to know how to check fluids? Besides making your car happy, you will have confidence in knowing you are ready to go. I never understood that fluids could be “used up”, thinking that they were like the human body fluids which are constantly there. What embarrassment to be scolded by the mechanic who only drained a quarter cup of dirty oil at the oil change (rather than the two quarts of yellow/amber oil when new).

Here are 8 fluids that need checking: engine oil, transmission fluid, brake fluid, coolant, power steering fluid and windshield wiper fluid. ENGINE OIL AND COOLANT REQUIRE A COOL ENGINE BEFORE CHECKING. Be sure you are parked on level ground.

Engine oil and windshield fluid are ones you can easily check and replace, most others will require checking every 2-3 years. If you have dashboard alerts, unusual noises, puddles under the car or smoke, take action. Call your mechanic. Pictures from Dowell Auto Repair https://dowellauto.com/6-auto-fluids-to-check/

THIS MONTH’S QUOTE:  From the book Code Talker by Chester Nez: “The Navajo language has no word for actual death. They use the word adin, which, roughly translated, means “no longer available.”

This newsletter is a production of Widowhoodbook ministry www.widowhoodbook.org.  For further information contact M.Bruce, P.O.Box 4, Hernando MS, 38632 or email

maryrbruce@hotmail.com