WidowhoodbookNewsletter Vol 1 Is 5

Moving Gracefully Through Aloneness

I remember a time when I worked with a young doctor from India. He mentioned one day that he was going to New York City to walk around “in the crowds”. He was going to get his “people fix”, to be bumped and jostled on the sidewalks by others unknown to him. I was surprised and asked if he was going with someone. “No, by myself,” he answer. Walking in the thick crowds reminded him of his home, the streets in New Delhi. He was alone in the crowds. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wBNtsgqNOI

Aloneness and loneliness are two different things. At a quick glance they may look alike, but aloneness can be a choice with positive ramifications. It can provide solitude for self-examination; it can provoke wonder, as in nature; it can give ourselves a rest from busy lives, or remind us of something pleasant, as in the case of my doctor friend.

Loneliness on the other hand is described as a “feeling, emotion or sense of perception of being alone and isolated, a state of mind”. According to Dr. Tiwari, Department of Geriatric Mental Health, King George's Medical University*, it is a “negative and unpleasant feeling, a feeling of disconnectedness or isolation”. It is not something we choose. We know it in our loss of a spouse when we end up living alone or need help decision-making or when we want to share something, and our partner is no longer there. We can treat loneliness with keeping busy, serving others, getting involved in activities and asking for help with our emotions. When you are in aloneness, it is easy to be tempted by the enemy of our souls. “When you are hit by temptation, the enemy will use the same three things he used with Jesus: hunger, isolation, tired. Isolation magnifies the devil’s lies or it will magnify God’s truths.” **

Aloneness and loneliness are not the same thing. Here are six things you can do to make the best of aloneness and minimize loneliness:

1. establish your new daily schedule, including wake-up time if you’re retired. Some people go to the same place for coffee or breakfast each morning. Connects with others.

2. read five Psalms a day – takes 15-20 minutes. God’s comfort is best.

3. take time to maintain physical health -- Get a physical, take your vitamins, exercise as able.

4. communicate with loved ones – keep a list in your purse. Include your boss, your landlord, best friend, or neighbor.

5. be honest with yourself and others

6. pursue new or former hobbies or get a pet

Widows Praying:

For ourselves: As widows, we have begun a new chapter in life. Lam.3:22-23 “Because of the Lord’s faithful love we do not perish, for his mercies never end. They are new every morning.” Help us to start our day with awareness of You, Lord. Thank you for Your faithfulness, for Your mercies, and waking us to a new day. We ask for the ability to devote ourselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.(Acts2:42) Raise the standard of holiness within each of us.

For our neighbors: Lord, please open ways to relate with our neighbors and others in our community. Help us to meet people, find new acquaintances and choose those who can become close friends.

For our county: That we will pray for those who are in authority (1Tim2:2) for all who are in high positions, that we may lead peaceful and quiet lives, godly and dignified in every way. We pray for our local, county, and national leaders in this way. Help us to be responsible and gracious with our freedoms, to get out and vote. You put people into authority and remove people from authority, but we each have a responsibility in it. We pray for our pastors and ministry leaders to be people of purity and integrity teaching in spirit and in truth (John 4:23).

BIBLE MEDITATION: Matthew 11:28-30.

Jeanine Hendrix presented this timely devotion at the monthly Widows of Worth meeting in Senatobia. She shared that she kept sensing the Lord say, “Walk with me”. Jesus is speaking in this passage.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” MSG

Think about it and add your thoughts.

“Come to me” what does that mean? _________________________________________________

“Recover your life” ________________________________________________________________

“real rest” ______________________________________________________________________

“walk with me” ____________________________________________________________________

‘watch how I do it” _________________________________________________________________

”keep company with me”_____________________________________________________________

What would it feel like to walk with Jesus in our current day and age? Would it be easy? Would it be heavy or uncomfortable? Jeanine asked, “Giving up things? What would need to be given up to move to a different level of commitment with God?” Taken from a Solo Devotional, Navigators, Navpress, Discipleship Inside Out, 2007

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” NIV

“Yoke” means connected. When you put a yoke on two animals, they both do the same thing, pull in the same direction, walk at the same pace. Connect with God. Get Closer. Walk With Him.

INTERNATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES: ADOPTED!! THANK YOU, LORD!

Magoba Elizabeth, from Idome, Uganda Age: 60

Husband's Death: 1995 from Hernia

Dependents: 2 grandchildren

Religion: Protestant

House: Family owns house

Challenges: Difficulty with piles (surgery needed), no appetite, swollen feet and school fees

Testimony: Thankful to God for the gift of life amidst challenges. Thank you for your prayers and consideration in supporting my needs. God Bless you!

COOKING CORNER: Bacon, Potato, and Egg Casserole

I’ve made this casserole for holiday breakfasts because it can be made the day before and cooked holiday morning. It can be cut into one serving size pieces and frozen.

PREP TIME15 mins COOK TIME 50 mins

SERVINGS10

Ingredients

• 1 lb bacon, cut into 1/2-inch strips or breakfast sausage

• 1 yellow onion diced

• 1 red bell pepper seeds removed and diced

• 3 cloves garlic minced

• 12 large eggs

• 1 cup milk

• 3 cups frozen diced potatoes you don't have to thaw or cook the potatoes

• 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese divided

• 1 1/2 teaspoons salt

• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper

• 2 green onions chopped

• 1 cup diced cooked broccoli

Instructions

1. Heat the oven to 350°F. Grease a 9x13 baking dish with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.

2. In a large skillet, cook bacon over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Cook until it is a nice crispy brown. Remove bacon with a slotted spoon and place on a paper towel lined plate. Roughly chop the bacon and set aside.

3. Add the onion and red pepper to the skillet and cook over medium heat until tender. Add the garlic and cook for 2 minutes. Set aside.

1. In a large bowl, beat the eggs and whisk in the milk. Stir in the cooked vegetables, potatoes, and 1 cup of the shredded cheese. Set 3/4 cup of bacon aside and stir in the rest. Season with salt and pepper.

2. Pour the mixture into the prepared baking dish and top remaining cheese and green onions. Bake for 20 minutes so the eggs start to set up. Carefully add the remaining bacon to the top of the casserole. Bake for an additional 20 tot 30 minutes or until the eggs are firm and the top is slightly golden brown. Let stand for 10 minutes. Cut into squares and serve warm.

3. Note: This casserole can be made in advance. Pour the mixture in the pan and refrigerate for up to 24 hours. Bake when ready to eat. You can also reheat the casserole.

To freeze: cool completely, put cut slices on cookie sheet in freezer for about 3 hours, then wrap tightly and store in freezer bag for up to three months. Thaw in refrigerator for 3-4 hours before heating in microwave.

SERVICE OPPORTUNITIES: With winter and the holidays approaching, local food pantries are always willing to receive peanut butter, cereal, canned fruit, money. At some you can help with handouts, packing, delivering, and fellowship working together.

• Samaritans, Horn Lake and Southaven, 662-393-6439

• Heartland Hands Food Pantry, Horn Lake, 662-280-5365

• Desoto County Dream Center, 662-510-5900

• Tate County Human Services, 662-562-4478

• Hearts and Hands Ministry, Marshall County, Byhalia 662-838-8899

• Olive Branch Food Pantry, 662-895-2913

PHONE AND INTERNET TIPS: As a missionary to Romania, I needed to understand the Romanian culture - what families had experienced before I arrived and how to communicate with them. If we want to stay connected with our children and grandchildren, we need to understand their language and the culture they are growing up in.

E-mail and texting are part of life now. When it was new in the 1980s and 90s, a group of ministry leaders were complaining during a training session on correct e-mail manners. Finally, one elderly lady stood and rebuked us all by calling out, “If I can do it, you can do it. If you want to communicate with the next generation, you better learn their method of communication.” I’m an elderly lady now, still hearing many of my peers complaining rather than working to communicate with their own young people. We all know that things are much different that they were 50 years ago. Let’s help this generation by at least trying to understand them. Here are some basics.

To understand and use text. Texting started in 1980s, 40 years ago, as brief written notes ShortMessageService (SMS) between 2 mobile devices. Unlike phone calling, which can be interruptive or at an inconvenient time (such as late night) texting allows quick communication via phone lines without the two parties being available at the same time. This is meant for quick short messages. The email is for longer messages – more to come about this in future issues.

Group texting: for group texting, you need to put contacts into your phone.

To add new contacts to your phone.

• To add new contacts to android: open the contacts app, click the + sign, fill in the information, press save.

• To add new contacts to iPhone, open the phone app, tap contacts tab, tap + sign, add name and number, press “done” to save.

To start a group: open the “messages” app in your phone, put in the name of one member of your group, tap the three dots at top of the page, tap “add member” then type in name of next member, continue adding members, when finished adding members, press “next”, give the group a name or not, and press “done”.

To remove yourself from a group: open up the group, tap three dots at top corner, tap group details, scroll down to “leave group”.

Phone calls

To block scam calls:

• For android: open your phone app, tap three dots in upper corner. Tap settings, tap block numbers. Turn on block calls from unknown numbers.

• For iphones: go to settings, tap phone, tap “silence unknown callers”.

This month’s quote: from Pastor Vlad Savchuck. “Be intentional to be in community.”**

*Dr. Sarvada Chandra Tiwari, Department of Geriatric Mental Health, King George's Medical University, Lucknow - 226 003, Uttar Pradesh, India. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3890922/

** Pastor Vlad Savchuk, vladsavchuk@vladhungrygen.com

This newsletter is a production of Widowhoodbook ministry www.widowhoodbook.org. For further information contact M.Bruce, P.O.Box 4, Hernando MS, 38632 or email maryrbruce@hotmail.com